Swipe right, swipe left - dating is so easy. However, when you have a perceived "flaw" that weighs heavily on your mind, dating can be quite exhausting. Since my hair loss hit me so early, I don't know dating at all with a full head of hair. For me, this insecurity has been an issue since my first encounter with the opposite sex. Before I started wearing hair replacements, I tried to show off my thin fluff to the best of my ability before dates. Because of my natural wave, this actually worked quite well up to a point - just put a bit of curling spray in, blow-dried overhead with the diffuser, and finished with a finish to make it last longer. It was a lot of work on the one hand, and on the other hand it just still ended up looking like thin, curly hair. So I always felt like I had to conceal something.
Does my hairpiece fit properly?
This question is probably asked by very few people at 21, but for me it was a real issue, especially in the early days when there was still a bonding flashing out here and there at the hairline. My big fear was always that someone would discover I was wearing a hairpiece. Every glance that caught something above my forehead made me feel massively insecure. I quickly turned away and did everything I could to get out of that situation. My whole head was something like a restricted zone. No one was allowed to touch me there - neither to touch my hair or face. As soon as I saw hands moving toward my head, I took flight. This led some of my friends to think I had suffered a bad trauma or injury to my head - they just couldn't explain my reaction any other way. For some time, you can certainly keep a secret like that - and who wants to blurt out such a sensitive topic on first meetings. But when you've found someone you're dating even after a few weeks and months, it's better to come out with the truth.
I have something to tell you!
For me, the moment has come when I feel the match has the potential to be a real relationship. Of course, the longer you wait, the greater the pressure. "Will he even continue to find me attractive when he finds out about my hair loss?" This and similar thoughts have always gnawed at me until I finally came clean. Mostly I made short work of, "I have something to tell you. I have hair loss and I wear a hairpiece!". Then I first reaped incredulous amazement. The truth is that men in particular don't notice small (or even large) discrepancies at all. None of the men to whom I have said this so far would have expected it - and none has reacted negatively. I don't want to claim that there is no man in this world who would react to such a confession with rejection. But if that happens, then he or she just wasn't the one! My basic recommendation - not only for dating - is to be open with the topic. There's this absolutely cheesy and fictional quote from Tyrion Lannister:
Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you.
This perfectly reflects my attitude towards hair loss and hair replacement - since I've been open about it, no one can hurt me with it or put me in an uncomfortable situation. Of course, I don't go around town telling everyone that this isn't my hair supposedly sprouting on my head. But if someone asks me why I changed my hair color 3 times in 5 days - I'm happy to explain why. Being open about it takes an extreme amount of (suffering) pressure out of it, but of course, it also requires some courage. So, be brave and become more satisfied!
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